Why chase a love that isn’t chasing you?

Why do people insist on chasing someone who does not want to be caught? I’ve done it, and I’m sure we all have at one point in our lives–or know of someone who has. Why people, why? I will admit, there is something extremely seductive about a man who–after I call him and he does not answer–never calls me back. In fact, having to call him more than once gives me some sort of rush. I become anxious, like an addict. When I finally hear his voice, I am numb, almost a corps. Why? Why do I feel I need him, when he doesn’t feel HE NEEDS ME?

The answer to this is simple: as my friend puts it, people want what they can’t have. She is a psychology major. Perhaps this gives me reason to believe her–assuming she is speaking from experience.

This desire to want what we cannot have dates back to what I call the whining years, the cry baby years, the, it’s my toy and you can’t play with it even though I am NOT playing with it myself years. I think we’re greedy people by nature–from the gigantic meals we order through the drive-thru window to the gigantic pay checks we desire.

But what does this have to do with love? Just as we did in the toddler days, when we’d see someone else with a toy–the new GI Joe or Barbie–we may not have placed that on the top of our birthday or Christmas wish list, but the fact that someone else has it, makes us want it too. Perhaps I am not making sense, which is very likely, but my point is this: we need to let go. As hard as it may seem to NOT call him (or her) for the eleventh time, we have to stop. I’m all about progress being a slow process; so maybe today you call them eleven times, tomorrow ten, and the next day nine…etc., whatever it takes for you to stop chasing love when it isn’t chasing you.